Accidents and Blessings
by shoreside
Summary: Toby gets an unexpected house guest and his life changes forever. Set postDrought Conditions and deals with mature themes.
1. The phone call

Title: Accidents and Blessings

Author: mitfordgal

Rating: Mature

Spoilers: Everything up to "Drought Conditions" and then we veer off-canon at an alarming rate

Disclaimer: I will never be mistaken for anyone who had anything to do with "The West Wing". I simply want to play with them.

A/N: I have to thank Eleanor, the best beta and encourager anyone could have. This story is my story in so many ways and I'll try not to make it too "over-the-top".

Toby sat on the couch in his office, head in hand. _How did we get here?_ he wondered to himself. Josh, his friend, _his younger brother_ in all the ways that mattered was gone. He left a long time ago, Toby had to admit to himself but now Toby knew that he was not coming back. He was gone for good. He was out pursuing a dream, filled with the hope that comes from unrealized dreams, the pot of gold almost, _almost_ within reach. Toby remembered the rush from President Bartlet's first campaign. They were not supposed to get out of New Hampshire and with each step towards election, each milestone passed unexpectantly, the euphoria grew until the inevitable explosion on Election Night. Toby winced as his hand passed over the cut on his face. It was painful to remember those days now that he felt old and tired and used up. With every scandal, with every person who left starting with Sam, with every advancement of the President's MS, he just got more and more exhausted. He didn't want to win at anything anymore. He wanted nothing except to be left alone.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, the door to his office opened. Toby almost smiled ruefully. He should have known… He looked up as C.J. passed him a towel and a glass of ice. He briefly considered using it for the purpose for which it was intended, but then decided that he liked the stinging. It reminded him that he was alive. He popped an ice cube into his mouth instead. He glanced up to catch the slight smirk on C.J.'s face and almost smiled in return… then he remembered why she was here and turned his head away.

He barely listened as C.J. said all the right platitudes. He knew that he responded correctly _(no, I don't need time off, I know what's important, yes, I'll finish the President's remarks)_ but he could also feel the pressure of all that wasn't said building in his chest. Then C.J. said them, the magic words, the ones designed to shatter him although he does not suspect C.J. of playing with him. She's Chief of Staff, he can't remember the last time they just talked about something other than White House crap, so chances are that she's forgotten much of what she learned over their 20 year friendship. She doesn't know how not to trigger him or how to put his world back together anymore.

"Maybe you need to sit with your kids and look at his picture."

_A nice idea, _Toby thought. _But not going to happen._ He needed to make C.J. understand. He had to share this burden before he suffocated under the weight of it.

"He did this." His eyes met C.J.'s pleading for understanding. "He did this. He sat in his car in the garage, engine running and left the rest of us to pick up the pieces. Can you imagine if his kids had found him? It's Jewish tradition that the body not be left alone until it's buried so I had a lot of time to sit there and wonder why. He could have had years. So no, I don't want to look at his picture."

The tears came but he saw tears on C.J.'s face too and so he felt safe.

"Do you want some water," C.J. asked, desperate to do anything to show she cared. She had never been good with the whole "helpless" feeling. Before Toby had a chance to resond, the phone rang.

"I told Ginger to hold my calls," Toby muttered. But he got up and went to his desk anyhow.

"Yeah."

C.J. got up to leave but Toby put his hand over the receiver and gestured for her to stay. She nodded and settled back and watched Toby's face pale.

"Talia, slow down." He listened for a while and said, "Why split them up?." More listening. Then he grabbed a piece of paper and started jotting things down. "Ok, what flight? Yeah, I'll be there. I'll let you know where her school records should go. Does Michelle need anything? Ok, call me later, bye." He hung up the phone but kept staring at it.

C.J. was worried. "Toby?"

He didn't meet her eyes. "Apparently I'm going to have a houseguest."


	2. My sisters' plans

Accidents & Blessings Chapter 2/?

See disclaimer in part 1

"A houseguest? Who?"

He rejoined her on the couch and rubbed the top of his head wearily. "Rachel, my 13-year-old niece."

"David's oldest?"

"Yeah." Too anxious to sit any longer, he began to pace. "That was my sister, Talia. Michelle, David's wife, isn't doing very well. The doctors have decided that she needs inpatient treatment and so that means Rachel and Joey need some place to live. Judith, my oldest sister and her husband have decided that they are finished raising their kids and want to travel so they will only give financial help. Talia and Simon raised boys and they still have Bart and Jesse at home so they are willing to take Joey. He won't have to change neighborhoods and schools. And since I'm the equivalent of a Christian godfather to Rachel, she's coming here."

He stopped and gazed with panicked eyes at C.J. "I need to clean out my guestroom, find her a school, pick her up at the airport…"

C.J. put her hand up. "Stop!" She patted the couch beside her and Toby sat, still tense.

"Tell me about Rachel. I don't think I've seen her for a couple of years. Is she still smarter than all of us put together and not afraid to show it?"

Toby took a deep breath. "Yeah, she's brilliant. Working four years above her grade level in math and science. She'll need a private school probably because public schools usually don't know what to do with her. I really didn't see her too much after David's death because of guarding the body but we have a fairly good relationship."

C.J. smiled. "You bond over the New York Time's crossword puzzle?"

Toby grimaced. "We bond over her kicking my butt on the New York Time's crossword puzzle. And when Josh was recovering and all wrapped up in his "Theory of Everything", Rachel was calling him daily to discuss new ideas and correct him."

"How did she get around Donna?"

"Donna didn't see a 9-year-old as a threat to Josh's healing. Lots of people underestimate her." Toby sighed. "At least she's familiar with the White House and how her life will change when she's living with me. She's beaten the President at chess, she can smell a reporter a mile away and as long as she's being challenged in school, she's content. Out of all my nieces and nephews, she's the one who's spent the most time with me so maybe this will be ok. She gets along with Andy…" His voice trailed off.

C.J. grabbed his hand. "It may not be as easy as that, Toby, but it will be ok over time. We'll all help. She's a part of our family. And you can do this. You have an incredible capacity to love, Toby Ziegler. Rachel's going to be very happy here." She paused and then asked, "Why is Talia so set on splitting Rachel and Joey up?"

"Talia said that Rachel and Joey together would be too much for any of us to handle. And you know my sisters – once they get an idea in their heads there is no budging them. They still haven't forgiven me for allowing my marriage to disintegrate because that wasn't part of their plan. And God help me if I show up at a family function without Huck and Molly."

"Is that going to be a major issue for Rachel, to be separated from her brother?"

Toby shrugged. "She's 7 years older and if Michelle hasn't been able to cope for a while, it's possible that Rachel has been responsible for a lot of his care. Let's face it – regardless of her relationship to Joey, she's going to be dealing with the loss of her family, her friends, her environment and she gets to move in with a grumpy old man who works in the busiest building in the United States. This is not going to be a smooth transition. But, on the bright side, it's put my altercation with Josh on the backburner.

C.J. stood up. "When does she get here?"

"Her flight arrives at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon. Talia said that she would ship the majority of her possessions later on. My sister is never happier than when she's organizing someone else's life."

"Well, that's good. You'll be able to attend tonight's function," she pointed out with an evil grin.

"Oh God that's right. Thank goodness," he retorted sarcastically. "I'm going to get started on the President's remarks to the Fraternal Order of Police. Get out."

"See you tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: As with all the stories I'm currently updating, this one is dedicated to the loving memory of my grandmother. Jean Cunningham Moore Grant passed away on her 90****th**** birthday, November 20, 1917. Despite the huge obstacles in her way throughout her life, she refused to give up and created a legacy through her family, her church and her many friends of all ages. I miss you, Grandma.**

At 7:14 the next morning, the senior staff gathered in the Oval Office. Toby entered with trepidation, knowing that he would probably be called onto the carpet by the President for any number of actions. Sure enough, once the business of the day was done, the President fixed his eyes on his communications director.

"So, Toby, I hear congratulations are in order. You're going to be a father again."

That effectively killed all the conversation in the room. President Bartlet looked pleased with himself as he watched the expressions on his staff's faces. Annabeth, the bravest in the room, asked tentatively, "Andy?"

C.J. tried desperately to match the others' faces but couldn't quite pull it off. She also felt sorry for Toby as he rubbed his reddened head. She moved over and gently bumped him with her elbow to show her support.

"As you all know, my brother passed away," Toby began. "His wife, Michelle, is having a touch time coping so Rachel, her oldest child, is coming here. Some of you have met her and I'm sure she'll be around. She's smarter than I am, nicer than I am and I'm sure by the end of her first week she'll be briefing the press and sitting in with the Joint Chiefs."

"We'll all chip in and make her feel welcome," interjected the President. "She's part of our family and I know Abbey will love having a teenage girl around again. Anything you need, Toby, you just ask."

"Thank you, Mr. President," muttered Toby, looking down at the carpet and shuffling his feet.

"Now we should all say a hearty hello to Cliff Calley." President Bartlet deftly changed the subject. "He's a Republican so we shall mock him at regular intervals but we're excited that he will be working the Hill on our behalf. Cliff, we won't expect you to be a Josh Lyman, which is good because we can't offer you a Donna Moss to assist you but I'm already encouraged that you are such a fan of my water program."

Now it was Cliff's turn to grimace. President Bartlet couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun at a staff meeting.

"All right, go forth and do good," he beamed.

"Thank you, Mr President," the staff mumbled as they filed out. C.J. immediately grabbed Toby and pulled him into her office.

"I guess you'll have Annabeth brief after 2pm," she began. "I don't want to see you back here today after you pick up Rachel. And if you need the rest of the week to get her settled and find a school, take it."

Toby nodded. "I'll talk to Annabeth. I already have a good idea where Rachel should go to school but it'll take a while to get her school records transferred."

C.J. sat down at her desk. "The President meant it, you know. Rachel's welcome here. God, I should be offering her a job. We're severely depleted if you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, hiring Cliff Calley was a dead giveaway."

"He knows the Hill and he was decent to Leo once upon a time. I've hired worse."

Toby, looking ill-at-ease, shifted his weight from one foot to another. "When you're done here today, do you want to come over for dinner?"

"You don't think that'll be too much after the flight and moving in?"

"I know that Rachel likes you and asks about you. She was over the moon when you became the Chief of Staff. I'm more concerned about the two of us being alone. The last time she saw me I was sitting shiva for her father." He looked up at C.J. with pleading eyes. "I need you to be there. I can't screw this up and you know from yesterday that I'm not at my best."

C.J. felt a lump grow in her throat. It was very seldom that Toby asked for anything from her or appeared vulnerable. "I'll be there by 8pm at the latest."

Toby smiled slightly. "Thanks."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As he waited in the arrival part of the airport, he couldn't help pacing. He didn't know what to expect. When he was with David's family, he had been so wrapped up in his own grief and his own questions that he really hadn't noticed Rachel or Joey. For that matter, he hadn't noticed that Michelle wasn't doing well. He realized that he hadn't asked Talia the details of Michelle's situation – he had no idea how long Rachel would be staying. It felt like a whirlwind and that wasn't a comfortable feeling.

"Uncle Toby?"

Toby turned and there was his niece. Rachel looked younger than he remembered. Her face was blank, dark circles under her eyes and even her long brown hair radiated exhaustion as it lay limply down her back. She was carrying two bags that looked heavier than she was. Toby reached forward to take them from her but Rachel dropped them and threw herself into his arms. Surprised, Toby tried to relax but Rachel picked up on his tension and quickly moved away, whispering "Sorry."

Toby's heart dropped and he inwardly berated himself. _God, she's practically an orphan and you can't put your arms around her and give her a bit of physical comfort? What's wrong with you?_ To cover her embarrassment, Rachel allowed Toby to take her bags and walked a few steps behind him as they headed for the door.

"Do you have any baggage to pick up other than this?" Toby suddenly realized that while the bags were heavy, they certainly didn't contain all the things that Rachel loved.

"No," she answered, softly. "Aunt Talia told me to only pack the essentials and she would send the rest. Probably to the White House. She thinks you live there."

_Well, if that's what she thinks, why did she send you here?_ Toby immediately felt ashamed of his snarky attitude. When they reached his car, he made sure Rachel's door was open for her before tossing her bags in the trunk.

As they drove, Toby couldn't help taking quick glances at his niece. She gave nothing away by her face – anyone who didn't know her would assume that everything was fine despite the dark circles and the slight slump. But Toby knew his niece and he had other ideas. She was like him in many ways. They didn't wear their hearts on their sleeves but they felt things deeply – maybe too deeply.

"How did you get that scratch on your face?"

Toby was startled. Her head hadn't moved – her eyes were darting around following the traffic but that was it. Despite the fact he was uncomfortable with the question, he couldn't deny that he felt a spark of pride in Rachel's observation skills.

"I got into a fight," he replied, evasively. Rachel wouldn't let it go.

"With who?"

Toby shifted uncomfortably in his seat and pretended that something in his rearview mirror demanded his full attention. Rachel simply waited.

"Josh."

Toby cringed slightly, expecting some sort of outburst from Rachel. There had been times in their history when Toby had doubted that his niece came to Washington primarily to see her uncle. Toby knew that he wasn't always fun to be around. When he did make jokes he was always surprised that very few people doubted that he was angry. Josh, on the other hand, was warm and dynamic. Toby smiled a bit when he remembered Rachel, only 7 or 8 years old, shipped off to him when Joey was born. She had immediately fallen in love with Josh and Sam and spent her time following after them, since Toby had her at work most of the time. In gratitude, Toby had relaxed a bit around Sam and allowed him to get away with more flowery language than normal. Josh he thanked outright. He remembered the look of astonishment on his face. Toby didn't ask him if it was because he was shocked that he was being thanked at all.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Toby." Toby looked at Rachel gratefully but was blown away by her next statement. "It hurts when they leave you behind, doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

They reached his apartment building and he could feel the anxiety build. Thanks to the twins' arrival, he now had an extra bedroom and he had moved out the playpen where Huck and Molly napped during their infrequent visits. But besides a bed and a chest of drawers, the room was devoid of any humanity and Toby was ashamed of the message he was sending.

When they entered the apartment, Toby began immediately apologizing but Rachel waved his off with a gesture.

"Uncle Toby, it's been about 24 hours since you found out I was coming," she pointed out. "It's fine."

Toby dumped the bags on the bed. "I suppose you'll want to unpack," he stated, nervously. "I wanted to tell you that I've invited C.J. over for dinner if you don't mind. I know you're probably exhausted so if you'd rather not, I'd understand and I can call and cancel. She really wants to see you though and since Josh and Donna are on the campaign trail and Sam's in California, this is as much of a welcome party as I could rustle up." Toby stopped suddenly, realizing that he was babbling like the proverbial brook.

Rachel smiled at him gently. "Having C.J. here would be great. I can't wait to see her again. I'll unpack and take a quick nap before she comes."

Toby turned to leave her alone but then spun around quickly and took the startled girl into his arms. He leaned down to kiss the top of her head and said, "I'm really glad that you're here. And we're going to make this work." He felt Rachel's arms tighten around him and hoped that he could make good on his word.


	4. Over Chinese

By the time C

_A/N – Finally! What a horrible bout of writer's block! For this update and any others I happen to complete in the next few days, you must give your thanks to __**LP **__– regardless of the fact that it looked like I had disappeared off the face of the earth, this wonderful person put this story on "alert" and reminded me that there are those who still read. So thank you! This isn't the greatest but hopefully it breaks the ice and I can move on to bigger and better!_

By the time C.J. showed up with Chinese Toby was pacing.

"Where have you been?" he grumbled, taking the heavy bag from her and going into the kitchen.

"Maybe you heard about my new job on CNN? I'm the Chief-of-Staff for the President. The President of the United States. And since I very kindly gave my Communications Director the day off, there were things I had to do." She followed him into the kitchen and grabbed the box of chicken balls as soon as he put the bag on the table.

"Don't eat all of those; they're Rachel's favorite," he admonished her. He turned to the cupboards to get plates.

"Speaking of Rachel, where are you hiding her?" She dropped a chicken ball in her mouth and licked her fingers.

"I'm not hiding her anywhere." Toby handed her a napkin and she rolled her eyes. "She's in her bedroom."

"Did you move the playpens out first?" Toby gave her a look. "What? It's a small apartment and I know you have to have some place for the twins to sleep."

"Give me a little credit. It may have been short notice but I don't expect my 13-year-old niece to sleep in a playpen."

"Yeah, but I bet you didn't have time to decorate," C.J. retorted with a grin. She snagged another chicken ball before Toby took the box away from her.

"Seriously, stop it. She won't be glad to see you if you eat them all." He handed her some rice and they stopped talking long enough to load up their plates. C.J. stopped him from putting a forkful of vegetables into his mouth.

"Shouldn't you go get the guest of honor? It's rude to start without her."

Toby pushed the food around on his plate a little before answering. "She might be sleeping and I don't want to wake her. She was exhausted when I picked her up at the airport." When C.J. didn't answer, he looked up. She had a smirk on her face.

"You're afraid of her!" she accused, laughing. Toby wanted to deny it but knew when he was beaten.

"Terrified," he admitted. "I don't know what to say to her. I don't know how she feels about being here. I don't know how she feels about her parents. I don't know…" He was interrupted.

"You could always just ask." Two pairs of eyes looked up in surprise. Toby's niece was in the doorway, rubbing her eyes. She came into the kitchen and C.J. got up to give her a hug.

"It's great to see you again, Rachel. How long has it been?"

Rachel hugged her back. "Probably not since the twins were born. Uncle Toby got busy."

"Yeah, well, you're hugging the reason for that," Toby muttered. He passed her a plate as she sat down between them.

"Thank you again for the hysterical card you sent," C.J. mentioned as she passed the various boxes over to Rachel. "It was almost as funny as the little skit your uncle and his merry men put on for my benefit on my first day." At Rachel's questioning look, she continued, "Oh, I didn't tell you about that? My first day as COS and everyone resigns. Even the President. They thought it was fun to watch me have a heart attack."

"Sounds like Uncle Toby," Rachel said, looking through the boxes. Toby handed her the chicken balls she was seeking from where he had hidden them from C.J. She smiled her thanks. "Do you remember how he set Josh up on Election Day at the voting place?"

"Hey, that was after they all set me up before the debate," Toby protested half-heartedly. The women ignored him as they recounted some of the practical jokes the senior staff had been responsible for during the seven-odd years of being in the White House. Toby was encouraged to see his niece relax. The phone rang and he reluctantly left the warm circle in the kitchen.

"Hello."

"Hey, it's me." The unmistakable musical tones of his ex-wife were on the other end. "Just calling to remind you that you said you would take the kids this weekend. Can you still walk? 'Cause they can and much faster than you might think."

"Oh, so you heard about it too," Toby grimaced, thinking of his altercation with his former friend the previous day.

"It's all over Washington," she teased. "No, not really," she hurried to reassure him when she heard him groan. "I happened to call Rena looking for you and she told me. I hope you guys worked it out."

Toby sighed. "No, not really. Other things have happened that took precedence." He explained to Andy about Rachel.

"Wow," she said, finally. "So much can change in 24 hours."

"You're telling me."

"So with Rachel there do you still want Huck and Molly?" she asked, hesitantly. "I can always cancel…"

"No," Toby interrupted. "I'm still the dad. I can handle it." To Andy's credit, she didn't bring up all the other times that Toby was the dad and didn't handle it. She said instead,

"Can I talk to her?"

"Of course." Toby put down the phone and went into the kitchen. "Rachel, Andy's on the phone. She'd like to say hi." As soon as she left the room, he looked pleadingly at C.J. "I don't suppose I can bring Rachel with me to work tomorrow. I mean, she's old enough to stay here alone but I don't think that's a good idea. And Andy will be dropping the kids by tomorrow night for the weekend so I need to come in and get some work done and I don't think…"

"Toby!" C.J. put a hand on his arm to stop him. "You're babbling again. You gotta stop that because it's freaking me out. If the President starts babbling in a speech, I'm going to blame you."

Toby had to smile. "And I'm going to find that highly unpleasant?"

C.J. cocked her head mischievously. "Mmmm, I seem to remember those very words being spoken to me at some point. Isn't it funny how what goes around, comes around?"

"Hilarious." Toby grabbed the last egg roll and munched contemplatively. He had just realized that C.J. hadn't answered his question about bringing Rachel to work when his niece reappeared, smiling.

"The twins are coming tomorrow! Isn't that great, Uncle Toby?" She looked expectantly at her uncle.

"Yeah, terrific. Let's nail everything down."

"Andy says they're practically running everywhere now," Rachel continued. "She put Molly on the phone but she wouldn't say anything. She put Huck on the phone and he said 'Rae-Rae'. It was so cute." C.J. jabbed Toby with her elbow.

"Did you hear that, speechwriter? Your son said 'Rae-Rae'." When Toby only grunted in response, she turned her attention to Rachel.

"How would you like to come in tomorrow with your uncle, do a little proofreading, maybe help me make fun of your uncle's performance in front of the press… we'll eat popcorn, drink milkshakes. Hey, I just happen to have a chess game scheduled for the President. I'm supposed to have learned how to play by now but I'm sure he'd rather play you. What do you say?"

Rachel's eyes shone. For the first time since Toby picked her up from the airport, he thought his niece might enjoy her time in Washington.

"Play the President in chess? Are you kidding? I would love to." Her tone turned wistful. "Do you think he remembers me?"

Toby cleared his throat. "I know for a fact he does. He mentioned that you would be welcome anytime." He was taken aback by the impromptu hug Rachel gave him.

"This is so cool," she exclaimed and she went over to give C.J. a hug too. "I gotta go and pick out something presidential to wear tomorrow." She danced out of the kitchen and Toby avoided the triumphant smile that he knew C.J. was wearing.

"Toby, this is going to be fine," she reassured him, as she gathered up the empty plates and took them over to the sink.

"Yeah, maybe," he conceded, getting up to help her. But in the back of his mind he remembered how Rachel had looked with her heavy bags in her arms at the terminal and he wasn't so sure.


End file.
